Two Sorts of Jealousy
When we talk about dealing with jealousy, there’s sort of two different things we can talk about. We can talk more about dealing with a particular instance of feeling jealous, or we can talk more about jealousy as a persistent feeling.
For dealing with feeling jealousy in a particular moment, my advice tends to focus on letting out emotions in positive ways (like journaling and exercising) or creating distractions (like hanging out with other people). Asking a partner for some reassurance can be good sometimes too.
I think that stuff can be a big help in getting through a specific day (like if you feel bad because your partner is out with someone else), and I think it can work again and again in those instances, but I also think there’s more we can do
I think persistent jealousy is something that be addressed on some bigger levels.
Some jealousy, I think, is deeply rooted in insecurity and self-esteem. That’s stuff you can work on, and stuff you should work on even if you’re relationships isn’t highlighting the issue.
I also believe you can cultivate different ways of looking at things and reframe how you see stuff. I try to see my relationships in positives as much as possible. I try to focus on what I like about my partners, and what they like about me.
But these things do take time and practice. Nonmonogamy is often a pretty big shift in how people are thinking about their relationships. It can take some adjustment.
This is importantttt