September 2, 2014
Particular Jealousy and Persistent Jealousy

polynotes:

Two Sorts of Jealousy

When we talk about dealing with jealousy, there’s sort of two different things we can talk about. We can talk more about dealing with a particular instance of feeling jealous, or we can talk more about jealousy as a persistent feeling.

Particular Jealousy

For dealing with feeling jealousy in a particular moment, my advice tends to focus on letting out emotions in positive ways (like journaling and exercising) or creating distractions (like hanging out with other people). Asking a partner for some reassurance can be good sometimes too.

I think that stuff can be a big help in getting through a specific day (like if you feel bad because your partner is out with someone else), and I think it can work again and again in those instances, but I also think there’s more we can do

Persistent Jealousy

I think persistent jealousy is something that be addressed on some bigger levels.

Some jealousy, I think, is deeply rooted in insecurity and self-esteem. That’s stuff you can work on, and stuff you should work on even if you’re relationships isn’t highlighting the issue.

I also believe you can cultivate different ways of looking at things and reframe how you see stuff. I try to see my relationships in positives as much as possible. I try to focus on what I like about my partners, and what they like about me.

But these things do take time and practice. Nonmonogamy is often a pretty big shift in how people are thinking about their relationships. It can take some adjustment.

This is importantttt

September 2, 2014
erikamoen:

The Terrible Art of Boner Hiding, an Oh Joy Sex Toy narrated to me by my husband and our friend Brendan. 
Also! The ebook of the Oh Joy Sex Toy book is ready to be downloaded! Kickstarter backers were sent a KS message with instructions on how to download their pre-paid copy. The rest’a you folks who missed the KS or prefer digital books can now buy your own copy! Woooo!

erikamoen:

The Terrible Art of Boner Hiding, an Oh Joy Sex Toy narrated to me by my husband and our friend Brendan.

Also! The ebook of the Oh Joy Sex Toy book is ready to be downloaded! Kickstarter backers were sent a KS message with instructions on how to download their pre-paid copy. The rest’a you folks who missed the KS or prefer digital books can now buy your own copy! Woooo!

September 2, 2014
"Not everyone with an eating disorder has to fit into a size 2 dress tonight"

"Not everyone with an eating disorder has to fit into a size 2 dress tonight"

(Source: fatswaggin, via ed-free-maggie)

September 2, 2014
NONSEXUAL WAYS TO BE INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE

meth-smoothie:

fuckingconversations:

Link 1  <Personal & Body Care

Link 2 <Emotional & Psychological Closeness

Link 3 <Sleeping & Other Spacial Closeness

Link 4 <Life Arrangements

Link 5  <Urgent Situations

this is way too cool

(via everyday-pon)

September 2, 2014

Okay, here’s how to fuck good:
Fuck loud: When the fucking is happening with you, it must be loud. While you are fucking your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls. This will ensure that the fucking is never forgotten. In 100 years, you can say to your sexual lover, “Remember the fucking?” and your sexual lover will say to you, “Yes, it was loud when it happened.”
Fuck so good that you win an award: One of the top ways to fuck great is to fuck so good that you win a prize or trophy for how good it is. Then if someone asks if you fuck good, you can say, “Well, I won a prize for good fucking, so you tell me, idiot.”
Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”
Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?
Be damp: What is damp? Damp is the most sexual wetness. This is why, when you fuck your sexual lover, you must be damp. Before you fuck, mist yourself in steam. This will make you not too wet and not too dry: Damp. Then when you and your sexual lover are inside of each other, you can enjoy the sexual dampness, and you can go insane with lust, no questions asked
Source

Okay, here’s how to fuck good:

Fuck loud: When the fucking is happening with you, it must be loud. While you are fucking your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls. This will ensure that the fucking is never forgotten. In 100 years, you can say to your sexual lover, “Remember the fucking?” and your sexual lover will say to you, “Yes, it was loud when it happened.”

Fuck so good that you win an award: One of the top ways to fuck great is to fuck so good that you win a prize or trophy for how good it is. Then if someone asks if you fuck good, you can say, “Well, I won a prize for good fucking, so you tell me, idiot.”

Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”

Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?

Be damp: What is damp? Damp is the most sexual wetness. This is why, when you fuck your sexual lover, you must be damp. Before you fuck, mist yourself in steam. This will make you not too wet and not too dry: Damp. Then when you and your sexual lover are inside of each other, you can enjoy the sexual dampness, and you can go insane with lust, no questions asked

Source

September 2, 2014
hellyeahscarleteen:

plannedparenthoodsp:

Heading back to school? It’s the perfect time to think about your health. Make sure you schedule a checkup and STD test before you start: bit.ly/findPP

For college students who aren’t near a PP clinic (or don’t have off-campus transportation to get to one), many student health centers will have sexual healthcare services and free or cheap condoms. 

hellyeahscarleteen:

plannedparenthoodsp:

Heading back to school? It’s the perfect time to think about your health. Make sure you schedule a checkup and STD test before you start: bit.ly/findPP

For college students who aren’t near a PP clinic (or don’t have off-campus transportation to get to one), many student health centers will have sexual healthcare services and free or cheap condoms. 

(via sexeducationforprudes)

September 1, 2014

bisexual-books:

All this week we will be highlighting #27BiStories from bisexual Advocate journalist Eliel Cruz with graphics by Trivo Studio 

Part 1 —  #27BiStories: Appearing Straight, Appearing Gay, and Other Misconceptions Bi People Face:

"In order to get some answers, and to start putting faces on the often overlooked bisexual population, The Advocate asked four questions of 27 bisexual people and those in relationships with someone who is bisexual. The answers come from an eclectic group in monogamous, nonmonogamous, and polyamorous relationships as well as other couplings that just don’t have labels. Their stories depict just a small portion of the bisexual-involved couples all around the world.

In this first part, we asked the couples to name the biggest misconceptions they face in their relationships. Using #27BiStories, readers can respond with their own experiences, and share these stories on social media. This is the beginning of a conversation that begins highlighting the sometimes silent B in LGBT.”

(via fuckyeahbiguys)

September 1, 2014

fuckyeahbiguys:

"I’m sick of how bisexuality is erased in LGBT spaces. I get really nervous before any LGBT event, especially Pride. I feel incredibly sad and hopeless when gay and lesbian people call me insulting names. If gay and lesbian people don’t understand me – Continue reading Prejudice at Pride at Empathize This

(via sociolab)

September 1, 2014
"Are Friends aware of their own tendency to falsely assume that any interest in the same sex necessarily indicates an exclusively homosexual orientation; and to further falsely assume that interest in the opposite sex necessarily indicates an exclusively heterosexual orientation?"

The Ithaca Statement (via outforhealth)

September 1, 2014

pastel-gizibe:

forcoloredgirlswhodgaf:

cultureunseen:

Charda Gregory abducted, humiliated, violated, restrained, scalped and tortured. 
If this were reversed, with black police officers who were sworn to uphold peace and justice but instead were documented victimizing a white woman (who was already a victim), this news would have trumped the Olympics!

Truncated version: drugged at a party, abducted to a motel, wakes up during unwanted sexual violation in a motel room full of strangers, fights like hell to escape, motel employee calls the authorities, she gets arrested for destroying motel property and it just gets worst from there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoBLolqUaNg 

Every officer who participated in it and even those who witnessed it and did nothing should be punished but instead they just fired the woman?
No rape kit, no police report on the people inside the motel room, no investigation of her claims, no accountability for missing motel entry records, no video from the motel but she gets detained for fourteen days?

(Btw, when did your tax dollars begin purchasing Abu Ghraib type water boarding chairs?)

http://www.wxyz.com/news/local-news/investigations/cut-on-camera-cop-slices-off-young-mothers-artificial-hair

I get angrier and angrier everyday when I see things like this.

(via sexgenderbody)

September 1, 2014
fcyeah:

pre-post-modernism:

madeupofnothings:

[The “A” is for asexuals &amp; aromantics- not allies]
Mine, please and thank you

I love it! (and still can’t believe people think that’s what the A stands for smh)

lgbtqiA!

fcyeah:

pre-post-modernism:

madeupofnothings:

[The “A” is for asexuals & aromantics- not allies]

Mine, please and thank you

I love it! (and still can’t believe people think that’s what the A stands for smh)

lgbtqiA!

(via everyday-pon)

September 1, 2014

saucefactory:

kathereal:

buzzfeed:

This Indian actress shut down a reporter for telling her to keep quiet about women’s rights.

THE INTERNATIONAL CLAPBACK

As a proud Indian, I am 100% on-board with Sherawat’s comments. Only people who truly love their country are brave enough to criticize it so it can change for the better, instead of letting it go to the dogs and calling that complacency “patriotic”. Indifference toward your fellow Indians “just because they’re women” is not patriotic. It’s callous, sexist, cowardly and heartless.

When I went back to India last year to visit my extended family in Calcutta and Ahmedabad, every single one of my female cousins reported having been sexually harassed in the last twelve months, either verbally or physically, and often in public, because clearly their harassers felt like they had a social mandate to do whatever they wanted to women, with impunity.

One of my teenage cousins broke down crying when she described how a man in a shared rickshaw masturbated in front of her while gripping her thigh with his spare hand. The rickshaw driver didn’t say anything. Nobody did.

Another teenage cousin (15 years old), said she had recently been propositioned by a middle-aged man, who offered her money in exchange for sex. When she pointed out that not only was she not for sale, but also that he was old enough to be her father, he just shrugged and said that was what he liked about her—that she was so young.

What the flying fuck? I was appalled and horrified and enraged, but there was nothing I could do to assuage my sister’s pain, terror and humiliation. Apparently, even child abusers feel free to do anything they want to girls, because they’re “just” girls, and it is widely believed that females only exist for male pleasure, no matter their age.

All the girls I spoke to expressed their sense of paranoia whenever they went out, and their sense of heightened, constant vulnerability. While girls everywhere feel that vulnerability to some extent (and what a bloody tragedy that is), my cousins in India were absolutely sure they would be harassed at some point. They were just waiting for it to happen. Nobody should have to live with that kind of fear. Let alone girls who haven’t even graduated from school.

Things need to change, and they need to change fast. And if that means having high-profile celebrities like Ms. Sherawat speaking out, then I more than welcome their doing so.

(Source: BuzzFeed, via size10plz)

September 1, 2014
plannedparenthoodla:

We received this question: 
“Hi! This is a weird question but google couldn’t help me. I want to give my girlfriend oral sex and use something flavored. Should I use water-based lube or massage oil? Or something else? There will be no penetration involved and I don’t want to use something that could harm her body in any way. I didn’t know who to ask this question to, and I trust you guys!” 
Thanks for asking! It’s great that you are thinking about ways that you can both stay safe. If you are thinking about oral sex there are two important things to consider. 
First, consider using a latex barrier to prevent the spread of STDS. A latex barrier is a thin sheet of latex that is used for oral sex. Like the male and female condoms, the latex barrier is a barrier between people’s bodies to help prevent the spread of STDs. Latex barriers come in different flavors as well. 
Second, you asked about lubrication. When choosing a lubricant make sure it is water based. This will be safer if ingested and will not break down the material of a latex barrier or condom. There are flavored water based lubricants that can be applied to any external body part. Make sure to avoid silicone based lubricants for oral sex as they can break down latex and be harmful if ingested. They can also cause irritation or infection in the genitals. Always read the ingredients of any product that might be ingested. 

plannedparenthoodla:

We received this question:

Hi! This is a weird question but google couldn’t help me. I want to give my girlfriend oral sex and use something flavored. Should I use water-based lube or massage oil? Or something else? There will be no penetration involved and I don’t want to use something that could harm her body in any way. I didn’t know who to ask this question to, and I trust you guys!”

Thanks for asking! It’s great that you are thinking about ways that you can both stay safe. If you are thinking about oral sex there are two important things to consider.

First, consider using a latex barrier to prevent the spread of STDS. A latex barrier is a thin sheet of latex that is used for oral sex. Like the male and female condoms, the latex barrier is a barrier between people’s bodies to help prevent the spread of STDs. Latex barriers come in different flavors as well.

Second, you asked about lubrication. When choosing a lubricant make sure it is water based. This will be safer if ingested and will not break down the material of a latex barrier or condom. There are flavored water based lubricants that can be applied to any external body part. Make sure to avoid silicone based lubricants for oral sex as they can break down latex and be harmful if ingested. They can also cause irritation or infection in the genitals. Always read the ingredients of any product that might be ingested. 

(Source: giphy.com, via ncfvox)

September 1, 2014

(Source: homo-club, via mandicreally)

August 31, 2014
"People who are currently doing sex work know much much more about the ways the industry is fucked up and abusive than people who are not doing sex work. AND! I know this is a radical thought to many radical feminists: they also have better ideas on what they need to protect themselves and ensure their safety and happiness than people who are not doing sex work."

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

People who are currently doing sex work know much much more about the ways the industry is fucked up and abusive than people who are not doing sex work. AND! I know this is a radical thought to many radical feminists: they also have better ideas on what they need to protect themselves and ensure their safety and happiness than people who are not doing sex work. 
The Nordic model has never actually been implemented in a way that decriminalises sex workers and it is all about ramping up arrests.

Feminists should not be our enemies. Feminists should not be voting for policies that support the status quo, they should not be vocally agitating for policies that result in the continued criminalisation and brutalization of marginalised populations.

And they shouldn’t be holding their vote over our heads like a punishment if one of us protests the one sided consumption of our lives or blogs

(via blackmagicalgirlmisandry)